I experienced a sweet sadness for the first time this morning. My grief counselor told me that as time went on, my emotional roller coaster would taper off into a sweet sadness, where memories wouldn't make me want to run away screaming and crying, but they would make me remember my mom fondly.
Swiss cheese is what did it for me this morning. As I picked it up for my first bite, I thought of mom. She loved swiss cheese. No tears sprang to me eyes, but instead when Christopher asked me what kind of cheese we were eating, I told him, "swiss cheese. Do you know who loved swiss cheese? Grandma did." He didn't respond in any particular way, he didn't need to. I guess that's my way of keeping her memory alive. Even if it is just talking about cheese, it still keeps her close to my heart and familiar to Christopher who won't remember her as he gets older. I even gave a few pieces to Evan, who never had the pleasure of meeting her.
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