Wow. I can't believe it's been about a month since the last time I blogged. Not much is going on here. The summer is coming to a close, we took 3 trips, and two of them was with family. After the last one I think I took about a week to recuperate.
But now I am back. I need an outlet for my feelings again as I feel walls closing in on me. In two days it will be 1 year that my mom has been gone and I am in complete disbelief about that every time I think about it. How has it been 1 year already? Why does it feel like she has been gone longer but I feel like I just talked to her recently? I can still hear her voice in my head. Will I ever forget how she sounds? (Ha, probably not as long as her voice is still on her answering machine).
I'm dreading everything about Monday. I don't want to talk to anybody or do anything. But how can you escape life when you have a family to take care of? I can send them out for the day, but do I really want the day to myself? I don't know how to spend the day, or if I should be doing something special to remember her...
I miss her a lot.
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For me, the anticipation of "the day" was more troublesome than the actual day. I felt like I was going to wake up instantly sadder and missing her more that day. But, it was just another day of missing her and being sad that she is gone. No worse or better.
ReplyDeleteTake some extra time to think of her, have a good cry and tell the boys some stories about her that will make you smile.
Call if you need to!