As I am sitting here alternately looking at the screen and my bowl of potato chips and chocolate chips, I have to wonder if chocolate will really help me feel better. I usually have a desperate need for chocolate when I'm feeling down, but then have loads of regrets when I am done and have a belly ache.
It's my fault I am feeling down, although I can't go into detail, I know I did this to myself. As I made lunch for the boys today I was overcome by sadness and loneliness and for the first time in a while got teary and really wanted my mom. I just wanted to call her and tell her what was bothering even though I knew her response to that particular issue was always the same and always made me upset, but wanted the comfort of the old days, of only a year ago. Some days I feel like, how could this be a year already, and other days it feels like more than a year has passed.
I shall be spending lots of time with God today, praying for a little more peace and a little less anxiety.
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