Up to day 4 now, and no sign of relief in sight. I barely slept last night first because I couldn't stop coughing and later because I got stuffy, but then I couldn't breathe through my moth because that made me cough, ugh and my babies, they need me and I just need rest. I fear that I will never get better if I don't get some rest. Mommies should have a super strong immune system, because you can't call in sick from being mom!
I did try to laugh more today, what a day to start. My laugh sounds like a cry right now and is painful. I tried as hard as I could to laugh with my babies at everything and anything. But as nap time approached I grew grumpy and tired, I will cut myself some slack today, but that's it!
After the boys were finally asleep in their beds tonight, I went in to check on them before I closed the door. Christopher is allowed to look at books in bed, so good for his eyes in the dark, but it has transitioned him into sharing a room with his baby brother. Well, most kids snuggle a bear or other assorted stuffed animals; on most nights I can find my child asleep with a book in his arms or clutched against his chest. He is 2.8 and a bookworm already, definitely my child!
I remember one year during Christmas vacation, my mom and I just read books all day long. I'm not sure how old I was, but I was reading chapter books already, so maybe in the second or third grade. While I don't remember being read to as a child, I remember the love of books that was fostered in my home.
As I watch Christopher open a book and either recite the story from memory or make up his own narrative to go along with the pictures, I wonder what he will be when he grows up. A writer? A librarian? Of course he assures me he will be a firefighter on most days, I know that no matter what he chooses, I will always love him and support him. But it's fun to have dreams for him. I wonder what my mom dreamed I would be. Maybe she just hoped I would finish high school. I know she wanted me to pursue my dream of being a writer. And I know after she started collecting social security and seeing that it wasn't enough to live off of after working for 20 + years, she was worried that I would be in the same position one day.
I find greater purpose these days to bringing my dreams to fruition. I would give anything to have a book published and have my mom here to see it. I guess that just falls right in line with taking advantage of every moment we are given today.
As for today, I'm too sick to think about it anymore. Good night!
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