It's now day three of having laryngitis, it's killing my throat and my spirit. Have you ever heard the expression, "when mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy." You can come to my house and live it right now. My voice is more present and available today, but I lose about every other syllable and I'm croaking the words out. I have a constant tickle at the back of my throat which is making me cough causing some rib pain, and now I feel like I might be developing a sinus infection. There should be a rule against moms getting sick. I surely can't call out of work, mama works 24/7. I even caved today and put the television on for Christopher while Evan napped. On the rare occasion that we put the television on, it's usually a video. But today I needed my boy to get sucked into show after show, so I could give my voice a break.
On day one of this I was a little impatient with life, at day three, my patience is pretty thin. I find myself nit picking at everything that is irritating me about anyone around me(I'm so fun to be around right now). By the time I finally got some quiet today, I wondered, how much joy do I experience daily or is my current demeanor more of a scowl? Yes currently I am grouchy because I'm not feeling well, but is this current me that far off from the everyday me?
Sometimes after I lose my temper,I think, what if this was my time to go, is this how I want to leave things? Absolutely not! I want to be filled with joy and laughter. I want to giggle with my boys and get lost in happy moments. I want to give them hugs and kisses all day long and always remind them how much I love them. I want to shower my husband with all of the love and affection I gave him when our relationship was brand new. I want to love to the best of my ability, where it's pouring out of my body, and radiating sunshine through my skin. I want to love in case there is no tomorrow. Because tomorrow isn't promised. I wish I could go back and hug my mom, love on her a whole lot, show her how much she meant to me. But I can't. So tomorrow when I wake up, I will thank God for a new day, and love from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
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